


i dont want to, but i love you

by softkizzes



Series: IT [6]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: :), Angst, Because im a sad bi, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Denial of Feelings, Eddie is only mentioned, Homophobic Language, Inspired by r + e, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oh also, Pining, Richie is pining over eddie so hard, The title is from i love you by billie eilish, it hurts, lowkey a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 14:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20229370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkizzes/pseuds/softkizzes
Summary: He picked the knife back up again, holding it in his hands. He was normal.Right?//





	i dont want to, but i love you

_“God dammit!”_

Richie threw the knife on bridge, hearing and watching it hit the planks with a thump! He sighed running a hand through his messy hair, looking at the carvings on the wooden railings.

_R +_

He looked at the last letter, trying to wish it away like he didn’t just write it. Or maybe he was just trying to wish away his feelings.

Richie stared at the letter for a moment.

  
_E_

  
He picked the knife back up again, holding it in his hands. He was normal.

_Right?_

He usually doesn't care about the insults Bowers and his little gang throw at him and the Losers club, he was just trying to upset them.

But one of them upset him, and even if it was just another one of his stupid little nicknames they called him it still stung.

_“Four-eyed faggot!”_

He could almost hear them. He looked at the knife in his hands and he clutched the handle.

_Fuck._ He wasn’t normal. He was far from normal. And it wasn't because he was in a friend group called the Losers club.

It was because of the secret he had.

If any normal person found out about it they would scowl and call him a _queer._

He closed the switchblade, putting it in his pocket before shoving his hands under his glasses, rubbing his eyes until there were white dots appearing.

Richie dropped his hands to his sides, staring up at the sky before turning to walk away from the bridge.

Maybe he could hide his stupid crush on Eddie and his secret for another day or two.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos? Comments?
> 
> I appreciate each and every one of them 💕


End file.
